THE MINDLESS THREAD

[Papa Tiger]

He deliberated hard about a couple of girls in high school and who to ask to the sock hop.

So, He decided to just go and see if they had dates. Later danced with them and then went to the bowling alley to play the pinballs with his pals.

They were shy & didn't go to the sock hop.
He realized it was sort of fun to not be locked into the Boy Girl thing tonight.

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[Papa Tiger]

I'm rushing around getting out of work and going on Vacation.
As I run through the shop, I hit my head on a low beam thus bleeding a lot.

A trip to the Emergency Room and 13 stitches later I am on my Motorcycle.
My Hair is Dried blood like a Friday 13th Freddy movie.

I'm on Vacation and its Friday evening, June 20th and long daylight.

2 Weeks later I buy a new 390 HP. Ford GTA.

I went through a lot of Concussion mistakes back then.

Got stuck in a H.S. School yard. ... "BUILD THE BALL TEAM NEW DOUGOUTS" ...
"TWTJPS" ... ( thas what the JP said ) ...

It may not have cured me, but it mostly helped !

 

[Papa Tiger]

Watch it on X over and over

 

[Papa Tiger]

WINTER'S GRIP !

 

[Papa Tiger]

Karen takes her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says,
“Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?” Karen is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh, no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

They are seated, a waitress brings him his usual Budweiser and asks Karen what you want?
Karen is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”
“She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.” A stripper then comes over to their table,
throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?”
Karens furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper
must have mistaken him for someone else, but Karen is having none of it. Karen screams at him at the
top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says,
“Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”

___________________________________

 

[Papa Tiger]

When I was young, I was poor...
But after many years of hard work,
I am no longer young.

One day I quite trying to make sense of stuff.
Now I stir the pot to see what comes of it.
Will the taste be bitter?

Some say, "The taste was bitter, it will add
Strength to the struggle!"

"Which will it be, a looser or a quitter?"
She, while hanging on the arm will
add, "will not quit!"

Ok I can save you a lot of time. The Duck dances on
an upside-down pot because I lit a candle inside it.

 

[Papa Tiger]

Several weeks after been hired, I gets called into the personnel manager’s office. ↓ ↓
“What is the meaning of this?” the manager asks. “When you applied for the job,
you told me you had 5 years’ experience. Now I discover this is the first job you’ve ever had.”
“Well,” I say, “In your employment ad you stated you wanted somebody with imagination.” ↑

 

[Papa Tiger]

A ... PHD .. once said “is amazing how the mind can work “.
of course, Ron White said, “you can’t fix stupid!”
then Foxworthy, “if you try doing the same thing over
and over again expecting a different outcome each time,
well, you just might be a Redneck!”

Redneck may seem a local definition of mental derangement.
Or it may classify common folk as get buyers.
Ringneck Pheasant comes to mind in comparisons.
Ya kick em out of the cornstalks, they fly off, you blow some feathers out
and they land, "I know not where!"

 

[Papa Tiger]

They're in a storage, shipping crate full of office stuff, small cases of things & crates of other stuff.
The US Treasury man says, "Lil Johnny you're going to life in prison for forgery & gun running."
Lil Johnny responds, "the POTUS needs a man like me to keep foreign stuff going on."
He then says, "How about now?" and slides a $37 dollar bill to him along with a 9mm 320 SIG !

 

[Papa Tiger]

The wife goes to the police station with her next-door neighbor to
report that her husband is missing. The Sargent policeman asks
for a description. Karen says, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4,
has dark eyes dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested, "Karen, your husband is 5 foot 8, chubby, bald,
has a big mouth and is mean to the kids."

Karen says, "Yeah, but who wants the ******* back?"

 

[Papa Tiger]

Little Lucy goes straight home from school and
walks directly up to her mother and demands,
"Mommy, where did I come from?"

Mommy sat little Lucy down and tells her, "expression of love
results in the beginning of life, how a baby develops in the womb,
and finally, how a child is born."

When mommy's finished, little Lucy says, "Wow, that's really neat.
That sure beats what Nilu told us at school, "show and tell "!


"She told us, she came from Nigeria."
Mommy screams, "immigrants!"

 

[Papa Tiger]

Hershal 20, marries a Hot girl from Penn.
He expects her to keep the house cleaned,
dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed,
and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He says to himself, first day he doesn't see
anything done, he'll let it pass!

The second day he doesn't see anything done
he'll wait for improvement !

But by the third day, He's done and orders her around some!

Two weeks later some of the swelling had gone down and
he can see a little out of his left eye and his arm has healed
enough that he can fix himself a sandwich & load the dishwasher.
Dusting with a new Robo is a no brainer too !

 

[Papa Tiger]

Brother enters the "Monastery of Silence" and
the Abbott says, "Brother, this is a silent monastery.
You are welcome here as long as you wish,
but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother lives in the monastery for 5 years before the Abbott says to him:
"Brother, you have been here 5 years now. You may speak two words."
Brother Lil Johnny says, "Hard Bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbott says. "We will get you a better bed."
After another 5 years, Brother is called by the Abbott.
"You may say another two words, Brother Lil Johnny."

"Cold Food," says Brother and the Abbott assures him that the food
would be better in the future.

On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again calls
Brother into his office. "Two words you may say today."
"I Quit," says Brother !

"It is probably best," says the Abbott.
"You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

 

[Papa Tiger]

The couples, madly in love & decide to get married. The groom-to-be approaches his Minister.
“I’m really concerned about this marriage,” Jamie says. "I have unbelievably smelly feet.
My fiancée won’t be able to stand them.”

“Oh, is that all?” the pastor replies. “Look, all you need to do is wash your feet twice a day
and wear clean dry socks all the time.”

Meanwhile, the nervous bride privately approaches the minister’s wife. “I’m so worried,” she sobs.
“I have really bad breath when I wake up each day!” “Oh, dear,” the pastor’s wife replies,
"Everyone has bad breath in the morning. Don’t worry about it.” “No, you don’t understand,”
Shirley implored. “My morning breath is so awful; my fiancé won’t even want to be near me!”

“Well, I have an idea,” the pastor’s wife says soothingly. “Set your alarm just a few minutes before
your husband wakes up. Run to the bathroom, brush your teeth, and gargle with mouthwash before
he gets out of bed. The key is not to say anything until you’ve taken care of your breath.”

In time, a beautiful wedding goes as planned, Jamie & Shirley enjoy the day without once
worrying about their secret problems. For months they managed to keep their issues to themselves.
Then one morning, the husband awoke before dawn to find that one of his socks has come off in the night.
Frantic, he searches the bed, afraid of what might happen if he didn’t find his sock soon.
His bride wakes with a start, & without thinking, blurts out, “What in the world are you doing?”

__________________________________________________ ______________________

“Oh, Shirley!” Jamie says. “Have you swallowed one of my socks!” ..... .....

 

[Papa Tiger]

Harvey and Maybelle helicopter ride for $50 is what they both do every year.
This year they disagree, Maybelle wants to do something else but goes cause Harvey insists.
Maybelle complains about the $50.00. Well, the couple are in their 70's and Harvey says to his wife
"This year that if we don't go do it, you never know, at our age, we might never get to go again!"
The helicopter pilot overhears them and suggests he can take them up for free if not one word
is said during the flight. The wife thinks it's a great idea, feeling they can meet such a
challenge and off they fly into the wild blue yonder. "$50 is $50!." twss.

The pilot tries everything he can to get the couple to yell out. He does every maneuver, spins,
upside down, loop da loops, etc. Not a peep out of them. When he sets the helicopter back on the ground he turns
to the husband and says, "I can't believe You's didn't say a word up there!" "Well, " Harvey says,
"I almost did when my wife fell out but $50 is $50!"

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