THE MINDLESS THREAD

[Papa Tiger]

Harry is having a tough day and in his frustration, he cries in despair,
"I would give anything for a birdie on this hole."
His Caddy walks over and says, "If you give up one quarter of your sex life,
I can guarantee you will make this next Golf shot."

Harry, now desperate says, "OK." & He makes the shot for birdie.
A few holes later, he's having trouble on another hole.

"Please, let me make this for eagle" An again his Caddy
for the Day says to him, "If you give up another quarter of your sex life,
can make eagle." "You're on," Harry says, and makes the shot for eagle.
On the eighteenth hole he needs a hole in one to win the match play tournament.
Lil Johnnys caddy for hire a day goes up to Harry & says, "If you give up the last
half of your sex life, you will make this shot to win."

"OK, I will take the wager" he says and makes a Hole in One winning the match.
As he's walking back to the clubhouse, the Caddy walked up beside him and says,
"I think I should inform you that I am the Devil and from now on you will have no sex life."
Harry says with a smile, "Nice to Meet you Devil, I'm Father Harry Cunningham!"
__________________________________________________ ______
Lots of seemingly strange marriages are going on.
__________________________
I bought a new brand of deodorant. The instructions say, "remove top, push up bottom".
I'm not sure about body odor but I pass flatulence a lot better now. .....

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[Papa Tiger]

The slices of bread got married. The wedding was amazing so much love!
Later at the reception the best man Toasted the Bride and Groom.
_________________________________
The worst thing for one's health is the First slice of the Wedding Cake.

 

[Papa Tiger]

Did you realize that?

 

[Papa Tiger]

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says,
"Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger says, "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.

"Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger says, "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more ... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died ... I'm married to his damn widow...
__________________________________________________ _____________________________
You most likely heard the story told in various ways over the years, but you heard this one here now.
I am sort of amazed at someone so perfect, a guy so cool. Sure I think its B.S.

__________________
MOST LIKELY THE SAND HAS RUN DOWN !

 

[Papa Tiger]

A Coor's Aluminum Can cap remover.

 

[Papa Tiger]

The couple are in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly notices that her husband is missing and
as they have a lot to do, so she calls him on her Cell. Olive says " Where are you, we have lots to do. "He says

"You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford
it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?" Tears started to flow down her cheeks and she got all choked up…"Yes,
I do remember that shop." she replies.







"I'm in the gun shop next door to that."
______________________________________
You know it did not end well !

County Land Fills, City Dumps are just pile it on it projects.

__________________
MOST LIKELY THE SAND HAS RUN DOWN !
Then I went Dirt Bike riding! Painful Choice is a great thought.

 

[Papa Tiger]

Our IT people are meeting with the vendor, discussing a data exchange interface program the company has ordered.

The usual technical terms were being used that mostly only those guys understand.

At the conclusion of the meeting, they reported back to management that the vendor was suffering from a "severe nonlinear waterfowl issue".

The manager, confused by the answer and wanting to know the progress of the software asked, "what, exactly, is that?"







The IT employee replied, "they don't have all of their ducks in a row".
__________________________________________________
Is there a way to avoid all of it?

 

[Papa Tiger]

The Sands almost run out now!
______________________________

Marrieds get really bored and depressed but our 2 have talked it out and agree that Cheat days every month are the answer.
So, Mayble brought home Chicken wings Friday night and Rob brought home his Secretary and her Husband. Rob's currently in intensive care.
__________________________________________________ _________
Human nature can really get tough!

"What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter exhaustion?"
The Team Leader says, "Well, I suppose you'd have to work using your other hand."
"So, why does that sound like repetitive B.S."
__________________________________________________ _
Shirley, calls the Help Desk to complain
that there's something wrong with her password.
"The problem is that whenever I type the password,
it just shows stars," she says.
"Those asterisks are to protect you,"
Lil Johnny, at the Help Desk explains,
" if someone were to be standing behind you,
they can't read your password."
Shirley thinks for a moment and responds,
"but they are there even when no one stands behind me."
____________________
Where's Karen?

Karen, is shopping at a Drug Store. As Karen, exits the place,
a man grabs her purse and runs. A by stander calls 911 immediately and Karen, gives
them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the LEO have apprehended the snatcher.
They put him in the car and drive to the store. The thief is escorted from the Squad and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replies,
"Yes Officer...That's the lady I stole the purse from."
________________________________
You know that's a true story too!
_____________________________________
An Economist will always tell you need a smaller glass if yours is 1/2 full.
Know what happens if he says, "U need a Shot Glass," don't you?

__________________
I have saved the best for the Last.

 

[Papa Tiger]

Bob carries his lil dog into the bar, places his dog on the stool next to him.
The bartender says, "Sorry, Bob, no dogs allowed."

" He's a special dog – he plays the piano!" The bartender replies,
"Well, let him play for us, you can both stay... and have a drink on the house!"

So, the Lil Dog is on the stool and starts playing. Blues & rock 'n' roll.
The bartender and patrons are Dancing and Clapping! Much liquor consumed!

Suddenly, a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck and
drags him out. The bartender really angry asks Bob, "what the Hell?"


"Oh, that was his mother. She wants him to be a doctor."
_____________________________________________

 

[Papa Tiger]

Two old Goats are sitting on the park bench. One says, "What shall we do when we are old?"
Old Goat says, "Lets click our Life Alerts and see how many Hot Firemen show up!"

You know the Saddest place to be in your home is the Closet! I used to believe it was the trunk of the Car but then I started buying F150's. When I am in the Box of my truck there are plenty of crinkling sounds to entertain me. Got to love that Aluminum buddy.

I been wondering for a while about the dried wet grass out there in the Street. Is it stuck to the Hot Blacktop now? Will Birds use the dried grass for nesting? These are great decisions. Did I have an Epiphany! ... Is the thought of entertainment just my imagination.

 

[Jus Cruisin]

For those that think I show up just to bash Ford, I was loyal for many years. A couple I owned in the 80's. Unfortunately, Ford lost their way.

 

[Papa Tiger]

I loved my Blazer too.. 13 mpg haha

350, hump heads, larger valves, Corvette Camshaft, Offenhauser hi rise intake. I put a removable window in the topper's top..

 

[Papa Tiger]

The Following is just a discussion of the growth of the Electric Industrial Material Handling Businesses.

Back in the day Allis Chalmers built the first Transistor power-controlled Material Handling equipment. Its power control was an inverter. The inverters would develop shorts and blow fuses.
The Germanium Transistors Were located in a group of heat sinks. Called the power modules. The Germanium Transistor wasn't very good for the current load hot shot drives subjected them
too and they failed repeatedly. The Equipment was pretty much a hands in pockets drive it carefully piece of equipment. Done right the batteries outlasted resistor or Carbon pile power controls.

The GE SCR Was better but when it failed closed, the truck had an emergency battery disconnect to stop it safely. Decades later Silicon Transistor systems made the day for Electric Powered
Industrial material handling equipment. They used and alternating DC field. Actually, emitted a Field around the machine. Now their problems started with rapid charging. It forced battery electrolyte Out of the Batteries, even though the batteries had sealed watering systems.

It turns out over filled by operators caused the Acid to run down onto the motors and damaged the Armatures. So Sealed Stainless trays had to be Fabricated for 100's of Electric vehicles and the self-watering of all cells was removed. The Rapid charging remained. Many times the Batteries went to the local Shop and new cells were installed, replacing the failed ones.

The equipment hit a lot of stuff back then causing internal battery damage. The operators wore seatbelts. What I see is rush to market stuff with no info structure. At least 10 years of headaches. One after another.

Amazing's EV Vans, as large as they come deliver to our home a lot. I asked the drivers how they are, they like the smoothness. I asked them to let me know the troubles if any they have.
So far her van has a hole bunched in it right behind the driver side door. 6 months old, and used through the mild winter on a set mileage route.

Sure, The Electrician who did the home Set up for the Lightning is questionable most likely !

EV Golf Carts have also had similar problems.

 

[Papa Tiger]

The Passengers are crowded on the continental Train Express heading cross country Eastward.
In the darkness of those moments in the tunnel, the passengers heard two things - a kiss and a slap.
Everyone on the train had his or her own outlook of what happened. For example . . .
The young lady assumed to herself, "While I'm flattered that the handsome someone kissed me,
I'm embarrassed that my grandmother slapped him."

The grandmother supposed, "I'm disappointed with the granddaughter, the lil slut,
but I'm proud that she hit him."

The general thought, "What in the world . . . why did that young hot chick slap me?

 

[Papa Tiger]

A guy did system support for the law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back on. He entered her initials and then she gave him password. Her password was "genius".

After three tries and the system telling him "access denied," he asked her how to spell it.
She said, "G - E - N - I - O - U - S." .....

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