Yes and no. The fuel pump itself is the same in either tank size. The assembly the pump is installed in is different for the two tank sizes. When you buy the "fuel pump" from somewhere, you're getting the whole assembly.
Yeah, if you hit a time where there's more than about 10 people trying to download something from Ford servers it can take forever. Even at the fastest speeds they support it takes forever.
Good news is you aren't on any of the "stuck" updates. You're just really behind. Buy/rent/get on the list for a mongoose and spend a long time updating.
At a minimum you'd need fenders, hood, grille, bumper. And probably some wheel spacers, unless you want your wheels tucked about 2.5" inside the fenders.