You're lying on a Gurney at a very dangerous location.
Your paralyzed in trauma & pain from the horrific accidents.
The EMT ponders it a moment and then Duct Tapes you onto it.
You see the Robins are eating the red berries on the ground
around the lil tree and realize how wonderful March 1 can be.
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then...." He sighed........ "Let's just put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box.....
A redneck family from the hills visiting the city,
and they're for the first time in their lives.
The father and son are strolling around while the wife is shopping.
They're amazed by everything they see, but especially the
two shiny, silver walls that move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'Paw, what's at?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno.
I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is.
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular
number above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the
numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,