Black Friday + Cyber Monday Deals

[Octane Haus]

F150 GEN 14 MEMBERS— BLACK FRIDAY + CYBER MONDAY DEALS SO RECKLESS THEY’RE BASICALLY A CRIME SPREE

Alright you magnificent chaos gremlins… Octane Haus just launched a sale so wild, my CFO looked at me and asked: “Who the fuck approved this?”

WARNING: THIS WILL MAKE YOUR WIFE TIKTOK FOR DIVORCE ADVICE

FREE GROUND SHIPPING over $299 with code: GEN14SHIP
15% OFF your entire order with code: FORD15

And yes — THEY STACK
Stack like a 6” lift on stock UCAs.
Stack like your questionable life choices.
Stack like a brodozer parked on mall crawler curbs.
Stack like the excuses you give your wife when another giant box shows up.

If your F-150 is still stock, that’s straight-up neglect.
Fix it. Lift it. Light it. Pipe it.
Turn that polite pickup into a full-blown “sir please lower your high beams” menace.
Make your local HOA Karen consider writing you a strongly worded letter.

This is your moment to do something irresponsible yet spiritually fulfilling. FORD15 is valid now through the end of Cyber Monday. GEN14SHIP is valid only on Black Friday and Cyber Monday for ground shipping quoted up to $35.

Shop before the mods delete this: https://octanehaus.com

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[Octane Haus]

UPDATE: OCTANE HAUS HQ IS A WAR ROOM RIGHT NOW....

Alright Gen14 gremlins… We’re still DAYS away from Black Friday and my CFO is already unraveling like a Ford wiring harness finished with Harbor Freight electrical tape.

He came into my office holding a printout of every order that used FORD15 and looked at me like I personally attacked his family’s generational wealth. He slammed it on my desk and said:

“FIFTEEN PERCENT... Why the fuck would you give them FIFTEEN?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT MARGINS ARE??”

Because I knew it would hurt him. And because I knew you would enjoy it.
He keeps pacing around accounting mumbling numbers like he’s trying to defuse a bomb:

• “This isn’t sustainable…”
• “This can’t be happening already…”
• “It’s not even Black Friday…”
• “Why do they keep buying suspension parts??”

Mike… They haven’t even begun.

He has NO idea GEN14SHIP goes live on Black Friday. He has NO idea you animals plan to STACK it with FORD15. He has NO idea what’s coming. But I do. And I can’t wait.

FORD15 — 15% OFF (live now, destroying CFO morale)
GEN14SHIP — Free Ground Shipping ON BLACK FRIDAY AND CYBER MONDAY (yeah, I removed the $299 purchase requirement - he's gonna lose his shit and I might get fired)
Yes… they will stack. And yes… he will suffer (lowkey, maybe I wont have a job after this week?)

octanehaus.com

Dropping this bump because the CFO just asked if stress ulcers can form “preemptively.”

 

[Octane Haus]

QUICK HQ UPDATE — THE SITUATION JUST HIT A NEW LEVEL

Alright boys and girls… dropping this bump because Mike just asked me if “heart palpitations can be pre-scheduled.” I swear things at Octane Haus HQ are turning into a documentary. Mike — our CFO who’s aging in dog years at this point — marched into my office earlier holding another stack of orders using FORD15 like it was evidence in a federal investigation.

He slammed it down and said: “Anthony… it’s TUESDAY. Black Friday isn’t even here yet. Why are they buying like the sale ALREADY started?”

I looked at him and said: “Mike… these guys see a discount and go feral. There is no waiting.”

He didn’t argue. He didn’t blink. He just stared at the Octane Haus slogan on the wall — “BUILDS THAT LAST” — and muttered: “Yeah… well I don’t think I’m built to last this chaos…”

Then he walked out rubbing his temples like he was trying to massage his soul back into his body. And we’re STILL days away from GEN14SHIP going live. He has no clue what’s coming when you animals start stacking shipping on top of 15% off. None.

Here’s the recap before this man files for early retirement:

FORD15 — 15% OFF (live now, dismantling Mike’s sanity)
GEN14SHIP — Free Ground Shipping on Black Friday + Cyber Monday
Yes… they WILL stack.
And no… Mike is absolutely NOT built for this level of violence.
octanehaus.com

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